Smoking - A trail, a pleasure, a habit....

When I was a child it was the time when I use to saw people smoking around me and use to hate them and make a perception that he was a bad man.... Sitting at my shop when my shop helpers use to go inside the godaam (Warehouse) use to take a puff of smoke and when I use to see them I use to complain my father and uncles that "chacha aandar bidi pi rahe the" (uncle was smoking bidi inside and they use to scold them and we use to feel that we did something good and now they will not do it again and it is injurious to health....

Time passed away and we turned out to be young then we use to see our so called "friends" smoking here and there and when they use to do so, we use to scold them and say "beta sudhar jaoo... bahut kharab chiij hai ye...." (my dear avoid it, its  bad for health).

then time came when we entered into a level know as maturity (Age after passing 12th class). we went out of our towns to other places working for our entrance exams to get admissions to some colleges or some courses. When we use to leave our houses...Parents just to say "Beta kisi galat aadat mein mat padna" (Son, don't get engage in some bad habits...) which directly meant smoking and drinking and we use to say with full of confidence "papa hum aapka bharosa nahi todenge..." (father we won't be unfaithful to your faith).

When I went out of my home we use to write what our expenses we use to make during the day in our dairies. I still remember one of my friend who use to do the same thing as we use to do...but their was a difference we use to write those expenses which we use to make but in his dairy he use to write 1 glass milk in morning Rs.10/-, 1 glass juice in evening Rs.15/-, again 1 glass milk in night Rs.10/-... and things use to go on everyday.

One day I asked him out of my curiosity, why do you write these things when you never used them. He said you all write your dairy for whom, I said "no one, I just want to make a record that I am not overspending" he said "I use to write a dairy, as my father had asked me, to show what were your expenses during your stay." and then I asked him "why these expenses??" He said "I love to smoke and I can't show it in my record, so these expenses use to fill the gap".

I was shocked to hear this and told him, you are not a human... how could you cheat a your own father?? And my perception for this person totally changed. And we started to make rumors about him in our friend circle and everywhere...use to ignore him.

A Trail
It was my last day and next night we were supposed to travel back to our places. In the other town, we use to live in a private hostel and we were three people in one room.One of them was my friend I told you about and one was another guy for some other place he was 3 years senior to me and he was preparing for different course and he was also a smoker.

Living together for 6 months I shared a awesome bond of friendship with him.On the night prior to my return it was around 10:30 pm we were just sitting and chatting, suddenly I asked him how did he started smoking... and he told his story.

Then I told him being in this town I didn't do anything wrong but I have a urge about smoking and I don't know whether I would get any companion like you in future I would like to smoke a cigarette. He was having one cigarette and told me he want it for night but if I want he can get me from nearby bus stand which used to be open for 24 hours.first I thought to give it up.... but later on I don't know what came into my mind and I agreed to him and asked to get one for me.

My one was a single cigarette but he interpreted as one pack of cigarette and he brought it. On seeing a pack I told him I don't want a pack and I don't want to smoke, you keep the pack with yourself and enjoy it. He said okay to it.But was trying to convince me to have one.  Later on around 12:05 AM he again offered me and I again said no to him. then he said " Abbey ek se thodi na tu mar jayega.... Aur itni kyon faata raha hai". (Hey why are you getting scared nothing will happen with one...And you won't die)

And I some how took my first trail to cigarette... After two puffs... I was going for third...
And then he commented "Are you not feeling to cough?"
I said "no, I don't"
he said "I found very less people, who didn't use to cough while trying for first time"
And his comment made me reach on cloud nine....
And that whole night I had my trails after trails... up to 7:00 am in the morning.

This was my first trail to smoking world....But inside my heart I felt a guilt, I had cheated my parents.

All the smokers and non-smokers(Whom I admire a lot..) Be regular on my blog to read more in coming days....

With a guilt in my heart

Appu :(